Don't Waste {This Time}

As everyone begins to head back to school, they are stocking up on school supplies, buying dorm room decor and researching where to get their textbooks for cheap. It almost feels like Christmas, with the hustle and bustle of people in the Office Supplies aisles. It's an exciting time of life, that is for sure.

Ever since I was accepted at The Master's College, I walked by faith, knowing that every semester was a gift from God and it could be easily gone the next semester. I had a wonderful first year, meeting lots of people, being a part of the productions, working alongside others in the offices at Master's...that campus holds some blessed times for me there.

My second semester at TMC was by far immensely better than my first one. Not in terms of people and human relations, but because of my walk with the Lord. I was walking more rightly with Him, obeying Him better and overall submitting to Him like the Bible instructs us to. Thus, He blessed my second semester with so many good things, like two great jobs, wonderful instructors, blossoming sweet friendships and to top it all off, I made the Dean's List! How good of God to give me all this!

When someone isn't walking with God, when they are sinning and disobeying His commands, blessings do not come. In Exodus, God spends much of the book repeating the seemingly simple ideology of: obedience=blessings, disobedience=discipline and curses. That truth is still completely relevant today and I learned that the hard way during my first semester at TMC. Sin is far-reaching and it affects everyone.

Even though the sin and disobedience of that season is way behind me, the effects of that season still "haunt" me today. It is tough to endure the discipline of the Lord; there is definitely a strong case on why it is better to obey Him than disobey. But the discipline of the Lord is also a reassuring thing. The Bible is filled with verses that say the Lord disciplines those who belong to Him. If you see someone who claims Christ and is continually in sin, yet is not being discplined by the Lord, there is reason to doubt their faith. And if you are this person, can I just ask you to search your own heart?


Hebrews 12:5-6 says, "And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.”

Proverbs 3:12 says, "My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."

Revelation 3:19 says, "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent."

Anyways, I believe that due in part to my sin, that the Lord is disciplining me and one of those ways includes whether or not I will be going back to The Master's College for now.

Without going into too many details, I am at a crossroads on whether or not I will be able to attend there for now and though I am still waiting for answers, I am also at peace. It is easy to say God is good and He has a good purpose in all things, but it is something completely different to actually acknowledge that and live that way.

When at first the issue of me not going back to school seemed like a serious possibility, I was tempted to think, "But why?! All I want is what other people are privileged to have: an education!" But then I let His truth (not my complaining) sink in. How good of God to bless me with even one year of college!

One of my deepest desires is to not waste this precious time that I have during this trial. There is a book by John Piper called "Don't Waste Your Cancer" and in it he talks about not wasting any of his moments with cancer by complaining against God and questioning Him. Instead, he uses each difficulty of His cancer to praise God, serve others, and evangelize to the lost. It sure grabbed my attention.

I want to be someone who is a good steward of their time. Not just in the sense that I am not lazy, or that I choose to hit the gym instead of sit on my sofa; but also in the times of uncertainty. I want to look at what I have, rather that what I have not. I want to thank God for this time in my life where I am not sure what I should/will do and I want to wait on Him for a response, instead of trying to make something come together in my own feeble strength. Of course I have been faithful and diligent in seeking out what I can do, but sometimes the answer is: nothing. That is the answer I have right now. And when there is nothing left I can do, then I must wait on Him. 

The Psalmist says in Psalm 130:5, "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope."

A song that has come to mind often when I am ready to complain against God about this matter is one that might seem strange, given the circumstances. But it speaks peace to my soul and reminds me of who I trust in.

'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word

Just to rest upon His promise

And to know thus sayeth the Lord

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him

How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus,

Oh, for grace to trust him more

 And yes, oh for that grace to trust Him more.  

{Count your} Blessings,

Em